"Cecelia, I've got to use the bathroom."
She was well aware of my phobia of crowds, and she walked with me to find the Mens Room. When we found it I walked in cautiously. I had to maneuver around a blind corner to get to the urinals. Just as I approached the corner, a man dressed in all black robes with a sword strapped to his back rushed out at me. I swiftly glided back against the wall to dodge the shadowy figure, and he flung his leg around at me with a round house kick. I blocked his kick using moves my wife had taught me, and flung my hand out so fast my clothes made a rippling noise, breaking his neck on impact when the base of my palm impacted on the back of his head. The masked warrior collapsed in a heap on the carpet, and I stepped around to continue my quest to the urinal. The bathroom seemed unusually empty. I had anticipated at least twenty people lined up against the wall breathing over each others necks waiting to use the urinals. I hate public restrooms. They have got to me one of the most unsanitary places to be in public, but they are a necessity. Trying to put the incident of being attacked aside for the moment I forced my sphincter to relax, and relieved myself of the bottle of water I had drunk an hour before the show. But my adrenaline levels were pumping my heart like a fat kid on a trampoline. Who was the masked attacker? Is this part of the opera? Is this some sort of retaliation for my wife's aggression towards the man with the wondering hands? As these questions race through my mind, the light against the tile walls moves. My eyes focus on the reflections on the wall, and I see five masked human figures carrying various ninja weapons. They are stalking closer to me as I finish off. His sword is posed to decapitate me, and I strike with my foot as I zip up my zipper. The ninja is flown back, and passes out after smashing his body against a mirror behind him. The other ninjas side step to avoid being hit my their own. The remaining four are surrounding me. The one to my right is twirling nunchuks around, the taller one next to him has little stabbing weapons called sais. The next one over has a staff ready to strike, and the last one on the left is getting ready to fire a crossbow. Just then there is the screaming war cry of my wife. She comes down from a jump in the air, snapping the crossbowman's neck. The one with the staff strikes at her head, but she ducks, and moves in with an uppercut that breaks his jaw. She grabs his staff and pivots it under both of his arms. With a twist, I can hear both of the ninja's shoulders being dislocated. He drops to the ground in agony, as the one with the sais and the one with the nunchucks hide behind a stall.
"Are you okay honey?" She asks
"I'm alright, but what the hell is going on here?"
"I don't know but the intermission is almost over. If I miss a second of this opera, I'm going to be really pissed!"
I walked over to the exit, and she took the staff, and threw it so hard it went through the aluminum metal of the stalls, and knocked out the last of the ninjas that were in hiding. The two of the remaining ninjas collapsed into each other by the blow of the staff. One had fallen to a resting place on the toilet seat, while the other one hit the cold, urine-wet floor, knees first before falling face first into the other ones lap.
We had just made it back to our seats in time as the orchestra began to play. When the show ended everyone stood up, clapped, hollered and whistled out to the performers. My wife and I stood there with them clapping along, but all the time watchful for more ninjas.
There was a chandelier above us that neither of us noticed. The crowd began to move towards the exits. Just then, a shadowy figure swung down from a rope, picked up my wife and disappeared somewhere up and beyond the balcony.
I shouted my wife's name only for the chatter of the masses to swallow up my cry. I stood there in panic now, as there was nothing I could do, but I knew that she had a dangerous job, and that she was a highly skilled professional. I just hoped that she would be okay.
Then there was a call on my cell phone. It was on vibrate, and it buzzed like a pack of hornets. I grabbed it out of my jacket pocket. There was a text message.
"MEET ME AT THE CORNER OF 10TH AND HOWARD STREET OR THE LADY DIES" it said.