Sunday, February 26, 2012

Bouncing Back

One thing I am learning in my Zen meditation class is to be aware of what we are seeking and avoiding in life. "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes..You get what you need." -Rolling Stones song. It's so true!
Yesterday I had an audition to have some paintings accepted to be displayed for sale at a local art gallery. I was rejected because of that year I took off from painting to learn origami and explore different art forms. The trouble with being multi-talented is that it's so hard to just choose one thing to specialize in, but I think that to be a professional at anything we have to commit to a discipline. Does that mean I can't fold any origami anymore? Or continue to practice piano anymore? What things that I have already put so much time into and built so much skill at would I have to give up to specialize in just painting? I can make time to paint. I can join a class, and from that class I will create 10 paintings in a 3 month period, but totally devoting all my time to just one discipline would be a big deal for me, because I am attached to my participation with a variety of art forms.
This attachment comes form my heart and mind, but there is a consciousness higher than either: Awareness. Awareness is the witness of my attachments. Watching them in stillness; a sitting meditation breathing full breaths in and out can alleviate the painful feelings associated with heart and mind.
From my awareness of my attachments there is no good or evil; there is no wrong or right; there is no judgement; only peace. From this place of inner peace, I will eventually become aware of appropriate action. The appropriate action is something I will do out of love not just for myself, but for others too, because in Zen meditation we are taught that no matter how much it may feel like self is separate from others; that I must have mine before you can have yours; the truth is self and other are connected. When we see a blind man trying to cross the street, we help him no matter how busy we are, because his safety is directly related to our own. If a car hits him, the car behind that car may try to swerve out of the way hitting us. So what is the appropriate action regarding my attachment to being a multi-talented artist?
I'll let you know when I reach that state of awakening.
Patience is a rose bud. It doesn't matter how much you want the flower to bloom. You can give it the appropriate amount of water and sun, but no matter what we do, the flower only opens when it is ready, and not a moment before.

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